The beginning
This is a blog for me to right my thoughts, accomplishments, progress, hardships, and trials of being a Mom. I find their are two worlds with parenting. There's parenting and then there's parenting with special needs. I am a Mom and I have two amazing boys and one yes may be special needs, but why does it have to feel like its a separate world. I am finding that what mom's do with "normal" kids I am just doing the same. Every kid has certain needs and every kids needs are different so why do we have to add the special isn't it just different? I might never know the answer to that question but maybe writing on here will help me understand more!
You know as a mom I feel the hardest part is that first nine months! Yes those seem to be the hardest for me. Yes my kid is quiet, minding me, and is easy for the most part to carry around with me(till like the last month). Those mood swings and hormones though I am always so happy to get my body back. So imagine, go back just a bit, your in the delivery room your life is about to change and it doesn't matter what kid your on. Your first or your fifth I feel like every child brought into this world its a drastic change! Some know what their having others wait for the special moment to have the big surprise. Me, personally I couldn't wait I needed to know ahead of time! Matt was my first and man he was full of surprises so when I found out that I was having another boy I was like sweet I know how to do boys. Right because there going to be exactly the same. Man I was so wrong! So here I was in the delivery room Matt was bearly 18 months old. Jack was not planned and was a super shock to us since we had to have fertility help with Matt. Were about 9 hours in and finally Jack decides to make his entrance to this world. The doctor puts him on my lap so I can just see this miracle that just happened. I sit there holding him thinking man the dreams I have for you sweet boy. Sports, best buds with his older brother, boy trips, you name it I was dreaming it. You can't tell me every parent doesn't do this. Things were going super well. Matt was loving his baby brother and helping Mom take care of him. Jack was hitting his marks with motor skills, weight, and every thing else you can think of. You wake up every morning so excited to play with these two amazing boys of yours and your so excited because in the next few years you can see them playing cars, trains, swinging, and all this fun stuff together. One day you look around and think huh Matt was saying Uh-Oh by now. I wonder why Jack isn't maybe I will work on that a little bit more. Then time passes by and he still isn't saying it and your starting to notice other things like; Why is he not able to drink threw a straw or why is he not babbling. Why is just in the corner of his room rocking back and forth and humming. Oh don't get me started on the humming it drove me crazy! Jack was about 18 months old at this point and he is starting to miss so many things. Autism wasn't a very big word at this point. It wasn't out there that much at all. I didn't know what was wrong with my baby and I didn't know where to go or turn to to find answers. I had a neighbor friend of mine mention that he may have Autism and to look into that. So I did that but where do you look it got so frustrating and overwhelming that most days I would find myself just crying and feeling like a failure. Most of the stuff that would pull up were what causes Autism and boy let me tell you it wasn't friendly towards moms. A lot of it would blame what mothers would do while the baby was in the womb or the kind of environment the baby was in and I just kept feeling like such a failure and getting in this dark hole of blackness. My mom could see how bad I was struggling with this and months later she had this feeling to mention it to a couple ladies at church and guess what! One of them worked with special needs kids. I seriously got super lucky and I thank God every day for this Angel of Mercy! She told my mom to have me call her and she would get me the info to get me on the right track. My prayers had been answered and we had an amazing phone call! She pointed me to a place called Early Intervention I didn't even know it existed! That That right there was my first step to a very long, tiring, rewarding journey that I never want to forget and when I am gone I want my boys to look back on this and to never forget how together we came so far! I'm excited to hop on here each week and write this journey down to remember and share with my boys when they are ready!
You know as a mom I feel the hardest part is that first nine months! Yes those seem to be the hardest for me. Yes my kid is quiet, minding me, and is easy for the most part to carry around with me(till like the last month). Those mood swings and hormones though I am always so happy to get my body back. So imagine, go back just a bit, your in the delivery room your life is about to change and it doesn't matter what kid your on. Your first or your fifth I feel like every child brought into this world its a drastic change! Some know what their having others wait for the special moment to have the big surprise. Me, personally I couldn't wait I needed to know ahead of time! Matt was my first and man he was full of surprises so when I found out that I was having another boy I was like sweet I know how to do boys. Right because there going to be exactly the same. Man I was so wrong! So here I was in the delivery room Matt was bearly 18 months old. Jack was not planned and was a super shock to us since we had to have fertility help with Matt. Were about 9 hours in and finally Jack decides to make his entrance to this world. The doctor puts him on my lap so I can just see this miracle that just happened. I sit there holding him thinking man the dreams I have for you sweet boy. Sports, best buds with his older brother, boy trips, you name it I was dreaming it. You can't tell me every parent doesn't do this. Things were going super well. Matt was loving his baby brother and helping Mom take care of him. Jack was hitting his marks with motor skills, weight, and every thing else you can think of. You wake up every morning so excited to play with these two amazing boys of yours and your so excited because in the next few years you can see them playing cars, trains, swinging, and all this fun stuff together. One day you look around and think huh Matt was saying Uh-Oh by now. I wonder why Jack isn't maybe I will work on that a little bit more. Then time passes by and he still isn't saying it and your starting to notice other things like; Why is he not able to drink threw a straw or why is he not babbling. Why is just in the corner of his room rocking back and forth and humming. Oh don't get me started on the humming it drove me crazy! Jack was about 18 months old at this point and he is starting to miss so many things. Autism wasn't a very big word at this point. It wasn't out there that much at all. I didn't know what was wrong with my baby and I didn't know where to go or turn to to find answers. I had a neighbor friend of mine mention that he may have Autism and to look into that. So I did that but where do you look it got so frustrating and overwhelming that most days I would find myself just crying and feeling like a failure. Most of the stuff that would pull up were what causes Autism and boy let me tell you it wasn't friendly towards moms. A lot of it would blame what mothers would do while the baby was in the womb or the kind of environment the baby was in and I just kept feeling like such a failure and getting in this dark hole of blackness. My mom could see how bad I was struggling with this and months later she had this feeling to mention it to a couple ladies at church and guess what! One of them worked with special needs kids. I seriously got super lucky and I thank God every day for this Angel of Mercy! She told my mom to have me call her and she would get me the info to get me on the right track. My prayers had been answered and we had an amazing phone call! She pointed me to a place called Early Intervention I didn't even know it existed! That That right there was my first step to a very long, tiring, rewarding journey that I never want to forget and when I am gone I want my boys to look back on this and to never forget how together we came so far! I'm excited to hop on here each week and write this journey down to remember and share with my boys when they are ready!
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